I was in the bathroom the other day at work.  One of the partners I have worked for in the past walked in, and we chatted a bit.  What transpired is just another humorous example of what’s wrong with employee life and “working for the man.” 

My friends and I refer to this partner as “The Oracle,” but not because he has anything to do with The Matrix movies.  He fancies himself as having some sort of foresight or omniscient perspective about the profession.  I would beg to differ, but that’s neither here nor there.

The Conversation

The exchange I had with The Oracle proceeded as follows:

The Oracle: “Hey Robert!”

Robert: “Hi there.  How’s it going?”

The Oracle: “Good, good.  The family doing good?”

Robert: “Yep.  Everything’s going well.  What about yourself?”

The Oracle: “I’m going on vacation, Robert!”

Robert: “Oh yeah?  Where to?”

The Oracle: “On a cruise!”

Robert: “Oh, those are nice.  I love cruises.  Where does this one take you?”

The Oracle: “From Lisbon to Italy!”

Robert: “Oh wow, that sounds real nice.”

The Oracle: “Yeah.

Robert: “How long?” 

The Oracle: “A couple of weeks!”

We were now walking over to the sinks, where I started to wash my hands as fast as possible.  That, of course, did not stop the further embellishment of this unsolicited vacation news.

The Oracle: “I’m 60 years old, Robert.”

Robert: “Oh yeah?  60, huh.”  (What was I going to do?  Tell him I’m 27?)

The Oracle: “I’ve earned this, Robert.” 

Robert: “Yep.  You’ve earned it, alright.”

By that point, I had finished drying my hands.  I threw the paper towel into the trash can.

Robert: “Alright, well, have fun.  I’m sure it’s going to be great.”

The Oracle: “OK, Robert.  See ya!”

What I Learned From This Conversation

To some people, this might seem like a benign conversation.  But it was far from that.  In fact, you don’t even need a larger sample set of conversations with The Oracle to understand what he’s all about and the message he’s intent on conveying.  Just from this conversation alone, I picked out two nuggets of wisdom from The Oracle:

1) The Mediterranean Cruise.  The entire exchange was a way for The Oracle to tell me how much money he has and how much money I don’t have.  The Oracle had to mention that he was going on vacation, and that, of course, forced me to ask where he was going and for how long.  (If I hadn’t asked, it would have been rude of me.)  So I came away from the conversation knowing that The Oracle was sailing away on a Mediterranean voyage.  

That piece of knowledge allows me to figure out how much he is spending on this vacation.  I did some quick research.  A two-week Mediterranean cruise that includes the ports he mentioned (Lisbon and Italian stops) is about $2,500 per person.  But you know very well that The Oracle doesn’t settle for an inside cabin.  Heck, he doesn’t even settle for a cabin with a balcony ($3,000 per person).  Nope.  The Oracle demands a suite!  And that’s a cool $5,000 per person!  Throw in his wife, and he’s spending $10,000, which doesn’t factor in what he’s going to spend at the different ports when they get off the ship and go exploring.

I obviously don’t have $10,000 to spend on a cruise.  And The Oracle knows that. 

2) He Earned It.  As The Oracle stated, he “earned” this two-week Mediterranean cruise.  The logical inference from that statement is that I, by contrast, have not earned the right to enjoy such a cruise–either monetarily or in terms of seniority.  Apparently, I have to work my butt off for years and years and years and sell my soul in order to “earn” the money and the right to take these lavish vacations. 

Working for the man usually entails having to accept this reality.  The people above you have some sort of tenure that allows them certain privileges.  They get to enjoy what I can’t afford, and then they get to rub it in my face.  What a lovely dynamic.  (Just how, exactly, does this foster a harmonious working environment?)

So I don’t have a lot of money, and I haven’t earned the right to take a vacation.  Any questions?

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